yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
