Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
