I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
