I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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