Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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