i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
