Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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