last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
