she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
