First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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