the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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