I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
