dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
