just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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