Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
