I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
