youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
