i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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