In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
