I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
