Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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