I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
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I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize