He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
