I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
