I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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