"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Randomize
