Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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