I want to walk on stilts...naked
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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