New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
