At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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