Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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