And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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