I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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