The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
