And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
