i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
