White coat. Heels.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
