I hope mine doesn't look like that
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
