you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
