this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
