Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
