mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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