do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
