I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
