i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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