You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
