Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
