No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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