1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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