I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
