Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
