Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
