i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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