With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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