put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...