I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam