so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
