I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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