Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
