D3 body, D1 cock
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize