Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So many bounce houses so little time
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
