is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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