I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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