Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
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